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Quarter-Life Crisis

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life advice [Mar. 19th, 2006|04:34 pm]
Quarter-Life Crisis
Please read this and comment. I know this might be construed as off-topic, but please help me if you can. I need some life advice, rather desperately.

I moved about a year ago to be closer to my partner. Although I love him, my life is very difficult right now and I really need support. I'm broke, stuck in a crappy job, miss my friends, lack any support from my family, and although I have a lot of valuable experience and skills, am just not sure what to do with my life. I'm struggling with a lot of questions, both spiritual and practical.

So here are my questions. Please take the time to answer at least one of them if you can. It would be truly appreciated.

If you currently have a fulfilling job, what is it about your job that you enjoy? How did you find your job? What did you have to give up in order to find your calling? Have you found that the sacrifices you've made to be where you are were worth it?

If you currently work at a job that is not personally fulfilling, why do you do it (besides the obvious monetary reasons)?

If you're a creative person, how have you overcome your fears or writer's block and been able to express yourself?

On the whole, what do you think is the most important aspect of your life - your personal life or your professional life? Any tips for balancing the two?

Have you ever been in a serious, long distance relationship that worked out? If your relationship did not work out, do you regret it? What lessons have you learned from that experience?

Did you ever move to a new place where you were really isolated and didn't know anyone? How did you make the adjustment?

Have you had any really serious financial crises? What helped you to overcome them?

Did you go to college or graduate school? If you took any long periods of "time off" before either going to college or graduate school, how did you get back into it? Who did you ask for advice or recommendations when you went back?

Did you make a decision to either not go back to school or put your career on hold because of personal reasons? If so, why, and how did that work out for you? Do you regret your decision, or did you learn anything from it?

Do you struggle with your spiritual beliefs? What lessons have you learned from your struggles?

Thank you for reading this and offering me any life advice that you can. I truly appreciate it.

[User Picture]From: ayanna1
2006-03-19 05:49 pm (UTC)
I was in a long distance relationship with my boyfriend for a year, after which time I moved to be with him. I came back to the city where my college is located, but by then I had no friends left here- it's a small, not-very-inspiring town, and few people stick around. That was a year and a half ago, and we are still going strong. I was unemployed for the first year here, and am now on my second (third if you count substitute teaching) low-paying, un-fulfilling job.
It's a hard choice to make. I knew what I was getting into, but I guess it didn't really occur to me that it would be *quite* so hard to find a job, make friends, etc. It sounds like I'm in a pretty similar boat to yours! What has made this experience deal-able for me is, first, that my partner is very supportive and understanding, and second that we pretty much knew we wouldn't be here forever. He's applying to Grad schools now, so we'll hopefully be landing somewhere better in the fall. Also, I moved here (rather than him going to me) because he had a good job in his chosen field. We have an understanding that when I figure out what I want to do in life (again that same boat), he will be willing to go places and make sacrifices for me. I think that's really important.
I think one of the best things you can do for yourself is to get out of the house. Volunteering really did a lot for me. I didn't really make friends at it, but it's a possibility, and at least you interact with new people. It's also nice to feel some of the fulfillment you can miss with a crappy job. I work at the place I do partly because they actually hired me, partly because I need the money, and partly just because I really needed to be around others and not at home.
This has gotten really long! Sorry. Good luck! I know what it's like; this is a rough time in life, but I hold out hope that it will get better for all of us. ;) Happy to talk more to you anytime, if it's at all helpful.
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From: test_subject456
2006-04-11 01:25 am (UTC)
Okay, I know I'm posting a little late, but I just joined this community and this was at the top of the page...

I haven't found a satisfying job yet, but I find the best way to be most satisfied with the work you do to pay the bills is just to view it as a job... fretting about it while at home wastes time that you could be enjoying life. It's not your life, it's what you do so that you can enjoy what is your life.

I have a good friend that has been in a long distance relationship for about 7 months now. They talk all the time, keep in touch with "I love you" text messages throughout the day. Her face still lights up every time he calls her. I'm not sure that there's more to her secret than just love.

As for spiritual beliefs, I am a Christian and my life is more at ease when I am closer to God... I've tried things my way, but they exhaust me and leave me worse off in the long run. Another great philosophy that I discovered was a way of thinking according to Toltec wisdom. There is a series of books written by Don Miguel Ruiz that are great. The one many people know is "The Four Agreements". It's not Christian, but it does recognize a greater being, and it's message of love and honesty and not conforming to the ways of the world can fit in quite nicely with Christianity and also most other religions for that matter.

Most of your other questions I have no significant insight on, but I hope this helped you some.
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[User Picture]From: indigominor
2007-04-21 04:35 am (UTC)
About a year ago my boyfriend and I were looking for an apartment together because he got gotten a job in New York and I found a job in North Jersey (we're both from New Jersey). We found something in North Jersey..but what ended up happening was that his job didn't work out and neither did mine. I was unemployed and broke and he found something else in the meantime. We couldn't even make it on our own for a year...we left to go back to our family homes after 8 months.
While I was away...even though it was only an hour north, I felt isolated from my friends and everything I felt comfortable with. I despised living where I was, so when I moved back I felt like I was starting from the beginning again...which was nice. The move back hasn't really affected my relationship with my boyfriend either.
I did, however, learn a lot of lessons by moving away. I also learned that if I am going to make a decision that big that I should have my whole heart in it...which it wasn't when we decided to move.
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